Merrier f&%$#ing Christmas

Just when you think banks can’t outrage you any further . . .

Let’s say you get your tax refund by cheque and you go to the bank to deposit the cheque. Let’s be perfectly clear, this is a cheque from the Reserve Bank of Australia drawn by the Australian Taxation Office. They’ve got the money. Would the bank clear those funds immediately? Overnight? Or within 3-5 working days . . . meaning I don’t get until after Christmas?

That’s right! Even though there can be absolutely no question of the funds being available and no credit risk in doing so, the bank still hangs on to the money for five days or charges a $15 fee in order for the funds to be cleared overnight. From the FUCKING RESERVE BANK! Is this not the biggest scam ever perpetrated?

And what is it with bank tellers? Have you ever attempted to appeal to a teller’s logic, reason, empathy or sense of humour? You can’t, because they’ve had all these things surgically removed before being allowed to work in a bank. Bloody hell. If there was any practical way of keeping all my funds in cash under my pillow, I’d do it in a second.

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