Training

Since I have no shame I will descend to even greater depths of techno-wankery by turning an SMS conversation with my friend into a blog posting. Viva technology.

As it happens, after dinner tonight, I spotted NSW transport minister Michael Costa coming out of Kinokuniya. He proceeded to stalk me through the shopping centre, but I managed to lose him by slipping into a lingerie shop. I figured he wouldn’t follow me in there cos it would be a bit weird. OK, maybe he wasn’t really stalking me. But then I did send in a submission to that inquiry they had a few months back about buses (the one where they took public submissions, then made no significant changes, but paved the way to increase bus fares), so maybe he was.

As a regular public transport user, I probably have more a right than most people to accost Costa and say, “Hey mate, nice job on the trains and buses . . . NOT!” Yeah, but I didn’t of course. Curse my reserved middle-class upbringing.

So I mentioned this to a friend, who suggested since I was in a bookshop, I should have bought him a copy of “The Idiot’s Guide to Management” and started hitting him on the head with it.

My alternative suggestion was for us to swap: he could loan me his taxpayer-funded government car for a week, and then he could try to get to work on time using public transport. He could stand on the street while half a dozen sardine-packed buses drove past without stopping. He could wait on the train platform waiting for the inevitable announcement that the train would be late — again — and CityRail apologises for the inconvenience. Amazing, this is an organisation that has to apologise to its customers so often, they figured it was cheaper to get a machine to do it. If only they could do the same for bus drivers — do they have mandatory surliness training or what?

Of course, my friend countered, Costa wouldn’t last five minutes on a train. They’d crack his head open and feast on the goo inside, to paraphrase the Simpsons.

It may be a big, shiny bald head but there’s not much of a feast there, from what I can see.

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